http://www.swartzfeger.com home of the world's tallest midget Copyright 2008 Fri, 17 Oct 2008 11:51:37 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=1.2.1 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=30 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=30#comments Mon, 23 Jun 2008 07:43:23 +0000 General http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=30 I played in my very first cash Omaha tourney today, and a little apprehensive going into it; I've played maybe a handful of Omaha games during my short poker career. Omaha is similar to Texas Hold 'Em, and yet there are dramatic differences. Hold 'Em has more variance and more ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=30 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=28 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=28#comments Thu, 13 Mar 2008 22:32:37 +0000 General Fiction http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=28 In a recent interview with a writers magazine, I wrapped up my thougths with this: We can't become self-hypnotized by the notion of assuming the role of the "suffering artist" as the only means of reaching our creative peak -- I don't want to be a Van Gogh slicing my ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=28 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=27 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=27#comments Tue, 11 Mar 2008 05:29:20 +0000 General http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=27 I've discovered one upside from the sting of a breakup -- productivity. Since Friday, I've banged out 15,000 words a day and finished my first novel, Slings and Arrows (well, technically it's my second, the first just an embarrassing mess that's mothballed on a dead hard drive). I'll spend next ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=27 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=26 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=26#comments Sat, 08 Mar 2008 21:23:59 +0000 General http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=26 You'd think that after breaking up with the girl that I knew was "the one", my first instinct would be to blog about the heartache. You know, the typical stuff... how she slips into my dreams and whispers sweet things and then the alarm rudely interrupts the reverie. I lie ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=26 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=25 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=25#comments Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:44:33 +0000 General http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=25 Sunday night is a weekly reminder of my innate, intractable stupidity. Trash and refuse overflows from my main garbage can -- it's now week three that I've forgotten to put the trash bin on the metaphorical curb for its weekly collection. Realizing I have a ticking timebomb on the side ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=25 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=24 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=24#comments Sun, 17 Feb 2008 01:33:58 +0000 General http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=24 I had a recent run-in with a grammar nazi while playing Texas Hold 'Em at Ft. McDowell casino. The linguistic miscreant and I evntually played a hand heads up and beat him pretty badly, taking more than half his stack. Miscreant didn't take his beating too well and started jawing, ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=24 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=14 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=14#comments Thu, 18 Jan 2007 08:16:10 +0000 Fiction http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=14 You miss your girlfriend. She's 836 miles and 12 hours away across the state line. Bored, frustrated... it's as though your soul has been dipped in a strange mix of ennui and mania. Despite all common sense and protests from the left brain, you top off the gas tank, grab ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=14 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=23 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=23#comments Mon, 01 Jan 2007 06:27:34 +0000 General http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=23 Terminally bored on a night when most are getting plowed as they ring in the New Year, I pull the plug on the boob tube and approach my book shelf. Eyes closed, my fingertips blindly trace along the spines until I stop at a random book – Joseph Conrad's Heart ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=23 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=22 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=22#comments Sun, 24 Dec 2006 09:24:03 +0000 Fiction http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=22 Headed back to Pittsburgh to spend time with the family for the holidays, brand spankin' new 17" MacBook Pro in tow. The rationale was not only could I dump holiday photos from my Nikon D80 into the laptop, but also keep pace with my 2,000-3,000 words per day on my ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=22 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=21 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=21#comments Thu, 21 Dec 2006 05:45:11 +0000 General http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=21 Had you told me a year ago that by the end of 2006 I would be divorced from my wife of 15 years, had forsaken alcohol, and become a published writer to boot... well, I would've pointed to your picture in the DSM-IV. But here I am – single, sober, ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=21 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=20 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=20#comments Tue, 13 Sep 2005 17:31:30 +0000 Fiction http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=20 Sometimes, one's ego can get stroked in the wrong way. http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=20 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=19 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=19#comments Mon, 29 Aug 2005 16:56:32 +0000 General Beer http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=19 The wife and I recently attended Bubbonicon 37 in Albuquerque, NM, to see my favorite author -- Stephen R. Donaldson -- give his guest of honor speech. Since we were in the neighborhood, we decided to take a day trip to Santa Fe and Taos. Besides beautiful art galleries and killer ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=19 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=18 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=18#comments Thu, 14 Apr 2005 18:28:21 +0000 General http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=18 When faced with two weeks of vacation, most normal folks plan normal activities. A trip to Disneyland, chores around the house, hopping on a plane to visit relatives. I plan to spend my 14 days of respite with a stack of French decadent/surrealist literature. Yeah, yeah, I know... conservatives are supposed to ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=18 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=17 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=17#comments Wed, 03 Nov 2004 17:30:14 +0000 Fiction http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=17 I've emerged mostly unscathed from the first two days of NaNoWriMo. And unlike John Kerry, despite having terrible productivity, I'm unwilling to concede. November 1 was a solid production day, writing just under 800 words for the opening of the novel. Yesterday was virtually a no-show, managing only 150 words ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=17 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=16 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=16#comments Sat, 30 Oct 2004 23:13:16 +0000 General http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=16 Driving north on Scottsdale road today, I was continually stuck behind a women in Black Mercedes. It was your garden-variety Scottsdale femme— Nordic, chiseled features, replete with obscenely expensive exercise/active wear topped off with one of those oh-so-cute little bitchy baseball caps. From my limited vantage, I could not visually ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=16 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=15 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=15#comments Thu, 28 Oct 2004 04:48:00 +0000 General http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=15 A blood moon rises above the Four Peaks. It is a glabrous disk, gravid with a crimson light that guides its soaring orbit high above the desert hardpan. We're moving into our new home; an eclipse gobbles the last few morsels of the moon until only ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=15 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=13 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=13#comments Sat, 23 Oct 2004 00:55:03 +0000 General http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=13 My wife had major surgery this past June—a hysterectomy. Despite the initial shock of having to deal with an invasive procedure – and one with the ruthless finality of a door slamming shut – we quickly came to peace with the fact that the surgery was necessary. We had no ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=13 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=12 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=12#comments Thu, 21 Oct 2004 03:28:57 +0000 General http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=12 With the Yankees getting spanked by a score of 8-1 in game 7 of the ALCS, New York fans began chanting who's your daddy? as Pedro Martinez took the mound in the bottom of the 7th. New York fans have to be the most annoying in baseball, just behind Atlanta and ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=12 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=11 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=11#comments Thu, 14 Oct 2004 10:32:35 +0000 General http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=11 I promised myself not to blog at all about the debates. Too much political fatigue, and despite being a rational guy I'm clearly a partisan. But I've got to make one comment... Why the hell are Kerry and the democrats so enthralled with Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter? http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=11 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=10 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=10#comments Tue, 12 Oct 2004 06:50:31 +0000 Fiction http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=10 My meds must need checked. Or maybe I'm just a late-blooming masochist. I just signed up for NaNoWriMo. NaNoWriM0 (National Novel Writing Month) is a self-imposed literary Bataan Death March, demanding that the writer take part in a fictional marathon of sorts for the entire month of November. The goal is deceptively ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=10 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=9 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=9#comments Sat, 09 Oct 2004 08:02:55 +0000 Fiction http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=9 It's so rare these days to find stories like those that inspired me to become a writer. Short story markets in particular are shriveling up as magazine racks become even more competitive. Publishers seem to only push novels the girth of a brick (ironic when you consider our decreasing attention ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=9 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=8 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=8#comments Thu, 23 Sep 2004 20:19:43 +0000 General http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=8 The Religion of Peace™ has beheaded two more Americans, Eugene Armstrong and Jack Hensley. While I don’t frequent places like ogrish.com and rotten.com, I’m not particularly phased by graphic depictions of death and dismemberment. Macabre fare really doesn’t interest me, so I’m still wondering what prompted me to download and ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=8 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=7 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=7#comments Tue, 21 Sep 2004 08:21:51 +0000 Beer http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=7 It’s now Football Season in the US, which means we’re subjected to the usual battery of braindead beer commercials every Sunday. I usually ignore the sophomoric marketing efforts from the big 3 breweries, but the latest push from Coors is so patently false it’s pissing me off. Over the past few ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=7 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=6 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=6#comments Sat, 18 Sep 2004 10:22:11 +0000 General Fiction http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=6 ... I’m getting the site cleaned up. The navigation menu is still largely non-functional, but I managed to get the hagiography link fixed. I’m also slowly posting my fiction excerpts back to the site -- the opening of The Ballad of El Corrupto is now available. http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=6 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=5 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=5#comments Wed, 15 Sep 2004 08:04:04 +0000 General http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=5 I’m writing my very first log entry from the new home. We’re still 4 weeks out from moving in; I’m sitting on a slate floor that still needs grout, and there are random piles of woodchips, bird shit and drywall dust that need swept. Still, despite her chaotic appearance, the ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=5 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=4 http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=4#comments Sat, 11 Sep 2004 07:04:00 +0000 Fiction http://www.swartzfeger.com/index.php?p=4 After a six month blogging hiatus and nearly 4 straight weeks of no fiction, I can almost feel my muse yelling hum up, queenie! with a whip cracking at my heels. 2003 was an extraordinary year for my freshman stab at writing; for 2004, the sophomore slump is definitely in effect. ... http://www.swartzfeger.com/wp-commentsrss2.php?p=4